Odds and Ends

Some days it’s a real struggle to decide what to write about. I post something one day, and the timer begins for the next post, 7 days to come up with a topic, to remain current with my self-imposed requirement of writing at least once a week. It was easy during the period of intense growth that existed while writing Limping with Jesus; the topics came in a flood it was all I could do to keep up. Nowadays there is a lot of what I call The Grind — maintaining faith and devotion in spite of good times. There is no expectation of new epiphanies coming; God has already given me the revelations that apply to my circumstance and I am at peace with it.

In an effort to make good use of my time during these good days, I’m taking a course on Jesus and the Gospels at Renew University. I am keeping up with the course work, but find myself worrying about the final exam. I almost never took notes in high school and college; my retention of lecture material and especially reading material was so good I never feared any test. Now I am hard-pressed to remember anything about the course despite the fact that there have been new and interesting tidbits in every lecture. I may have to watch all 6 lectures again just to manage a passing grade.

I find myself praying quite a bit over my friends who are dealing with the late-life issues of their parents. My parents seem to be relatively hale and hearty, thanks be to God. I have too many friends with parents in memory care or cancer care, contemplating monstrous medical bills or the cost of assisted (or completely managed) living. Like the people in our church who do the outreach to the homeless, those with ailing parents are heroes of our faith. I pray for their endurance and blessings in these difficult times.

This past month, I have been oddly afflicted by a desire to drink again. It’s relatively easy to shrug off or pray through, but the idea of ending my day with a nice amaretto sour lingers too frequently in my thoughts. In my Bible reading, perhaps coincidentally and perhaps not, the children of Israel are constantly talking about returning to be slaves in Egypt rather than chase this pillar around the desert. I fix my eyes on that pillar and march doggedly forward, praying for those still enslaved.

My doctor has determined that radiation will in fact be the next treatment, and I am still blessed to be on a break from the pills I’ve been taking for the past 9 months or so. We await only a start date for the schedule of treatment: 6 doses 6 weeks apart, with a 1 week quarantine after each dose thanks to said dose making me dangerously radioactive. I find it hilariously ironic that the treatment for my cancer forces me to be away from others because it causes cancer. It’s not quite that we’re hoping the treatment gives my cancer cancer so that my cancer dies of cancer before I do, but I would laugh if it were the case.

I don’t really know how to end this post, but I loved this verse in this morning’s reading. God wakes me every morning with a song in my head, and I look out on a new day filled with promise. Help me to remember, O Lord my God.